Heir to Brokenness

Humanity is in my genes

I'm heir to its every flaw

Selfishness runs through my veins

So does love...

But that can be selfish too.

Insult and offence await within,

My mind wraps around slights

Imagined and real

I relive them, daily,

And floating around my brain

Are things I should have said

Things that I shouldn't have 

And in that diseased miasma 

Of thought and emotion,

Things I maybe, possibly,

Might not should've said.

I tell myself how horrible I am

Because someone may take it wrong.

I'm an emotional masochist

Flogging myself over worries

Of thoughts. Of words.

Of possibilities that I imagine.

Humanity is in my blood

I feel it beating with my heart

Creating a million, billion flaws

Mistakes I make 

Others I imagine making

Mistakes in themselves.

I can't seem to remember 

Not to worry

I'm too busy creating worries

So that I can worry some more

My imaginings are havoc within

My heart and soul,

And yet, in this noise of thought

There is the reminder

That though I'm heir to brokenness,

I'm heir to the forgiveness, 

The charity, and the grace

Of my heavenly father.

And He is an expert at quietening

All of my frantic thoughts,

Loving me past my ability

To love myself,

And forgiving me 

Even when I seem 

The least forgivable in my own eyes.

Yes, I'm heir to brokenness,

But I'm heir to things far greater too.